The word “Assertive ” derives from the word “assert:” which means to declare by words or measures.

It comes from the Latin assertus, past participle of asserere/adserere “to claim, lay claim to, appropriate,”.

https://www.etymonline.com/word/assert#etymonline_v_26609

Below are other definitions of assertive.

1. Having or showing a confident and forceful personality.

2. It is the quality of being self-assured and confident without being aggressive

3. Behaving confidently and being able to say in a direct way what you want or believe

4. Disposed to or characterized by bold or confident statements and behavior

To be assertive is to find a balance between being passive and being aggressive. An assertive person know how to express their thoughts and opinions and get what they want without stepping on the rights of others.

Passiveness

To be passive is “to accept or allow what happens or what others do, without active response or resistance“: you will never stand up for your rights. when you are passive you tend not to believe in yourself or abilities: Which in most cases is lack of Self-confidence.

Characteristics of passiveness

Saying YES
When you are passive, you tend to say yes to requests from other people regardless of whether the request is fair or not. This is most likely because you want to please others or you afraid of saying no.

Fearfulness
A passive attitude makes you afraid of stating how you feel. This is due to the fact that you don’t want to anger or offend others. The fear makes you feel like you do not have right to express your thoughts or opinions. This results in fear of authoritative figures, criticism by others, fear of returning damaged goods, fear of chasing your dreams among others.

Frequent apologizing
When a passive individual speaks or expresses their opinions, they tend to apologize due to the fact that they do not think their thought are valuable. This in return causes others to devalue their opinions

Aggressiveness

On the other hand to be aggressive is “to act or behave in a forceful way.” By using aggression you disregard the right and opinions of others. You will come across as pushy or a bully. People with this character often take things without asking: I call this negative aggressiveness.

On the other hand, being positively aggressive makes you:

Act with confidence

Take on huge responsibilities

Accomplish objectives

Achieve your goals

Get people to take action

If you can be aggressive while respecting the thoughts, rights and opinions of others: then I would term that character as “assertive aggressiveness”.

• My assertiveness enriches my relationships
• I am bold when being assertive
• I feel comfortable with the decisions I make
• I dont fell guilty when I say no
• My feelings of self esteem are strong
• My feelings of self worth are strong
• I have high self confidence
• I realize I have the right to change my mind

Benefits Of Being Assertive

Being assertive helps you to become self confident and this in return helps you to express yourself and be positively driven on a day to day basis. Other benefits include:

Increase in self esteem

Greater respect for yourself and others

Understanding your rights and asserting them

Better decision making skills

Develop the skills to compliment and give feedback

Ability to find common grounds

You gain respect from others

Understand and recognize your feelings

• Advancing Mindset
• Affirmations
• Business
• Communication
• Consistency
• Happiniess
• Health
• Leadership
• Love
• Millionaire Mindset
• Mindset
• Money
• Networking
• Nutrition
• Personal Development
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• Quotes
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• Uncategorized

Improved communication

Creating honest relationships

Create win win situations

Managing your friends and colleagues effectively

Increase in productive and effective work

Developing a proactive behavior to manage aggressive and passive behaviors in others

How To Become Assertive

Decide to become assertive. Make the decision to become assertive and start practicing by yourself, in a mirror, with a trusted one or visualizing how you will respond.

Know and value yourself. In order to develop assertiveness you must first know yourself; Understand your communication style, know your values, know your rights, assess your behavior.

Express yourself with confidence. speak out your thoughts, opinions and wants with confidence, after knowing what you want take the initiative and set goals to achieve your desires.

Say NO When necessary. Say no when you know you cannot perform or carry through the request or task you have been asked to do. If you find it difficult think of the consequences of saying yes: in most cases saying yes will result in stress and anger. The best practice is to be brief, clear and honest as to why you said no

Be Polite but firm. Do not raise your voice or use abusive language: speak with respect and mean what you say. If you go back on your word, chances are you will not be taken serious so be firm and stand your ground.

Stay Calm and relaxed. Have respect for others while you speak with them; breathe normally and deeply, look the person in the eye and speak with your normal voice.

Be clear and to the point. Say what you mean and mean what you want to say: Be clear and go straight to the point, avoid long unnecessary explanations

Use “I” statements. When speaking stick to statement that include “I”. E.g I think , I will, I feel. Using these statements affirms that you are willing to take responsibility for your actions.

Listen actively. Listen to understand instead of listening to reply; try and understand the other person’s point of view without interrupting them but giving them your full attention.

Use assertive body language. Communication is verbal and non-verbal so do remember to match you body posture with your assertive communication; sit uprightly, maintain regular eye contact, uncross your arms and legs, keep your voice calm, maintain a neutral facial expression and act confident.